Well let me continue....
After me wanting to do what ever I wanted with my life, things still seemed amazing to me in my relationship. I was still blinded. After about a year in an unequally yoked relationship I got pregnant. At first I was ashamed because I thought about what people would say about me but after going to God and asking him for His forgiveness I felt a relief. I knew I was forgiven but I still hid myself from persons who were not close to me. But as time went by I stopped worrying about what people would say when they see me because i knew I was still a daughter of God.
Six months within my pregnancy, I got engaged. I was so happy and all I could think of is seeing myself walk down the aisle with who I thought I loved. During my pregnancy, I still rejected God and chose a relationship with a human being rather than a relationship with God. After 9 months of carrying a baby, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl name Paige. I love her so much and thank God for blessing me with her. She's my best friend.
So before I get side tracked let me tell you what happened after Paige was born and how faithful God is. I moved in with who was my fiance. Continued to reject God's calling. Six months of shacking up were the worst six months of my life. The dysfunctional relationship got worse and worse each week. I didn't know how to get out of it because i was so wrapped up in it. I kept asking God to give me a way out and when he did i still stayed. But there was this one time that i cried out to God and asked Him for answers and to reveal to me everything I need to know. God whispered to me and said, "Manessa, I want You". I didn't quite understand why God would want me after all that I've done and how much I've rejected Him. He revealed to me everything I needed to know just like I asked. It hurt but I knew then that God was for me and not against me. After it all, I moved back to my mom with my daughter away from all the dysfunction. I left the relationship and called off what I thought was an engagement. All of this was the work of the Lord. I had to go through this to realize exactly what God wants for me and He only wants the best. I can assure you that if I was still where I was a year ago, I would not be where I am today.
A woman after God's own heart and I want nothing more. I want to serve Him and Him alone. As I grew closer to God, I grew further away from wanting to marry a man who isn't following Him. God has been faithful, He has brought me back. I am now a Youth Leader at my church, a mentor in a group called Alliance girls and I am also a kids club teacher at my church. Well isn't God amazing?! If God can use me I'm sure he can use you too sister. Oh and He has blessed me with a gem and my life changed ever since. I love you Paige :)
Today I want to encourage you sister to seek God's face like never before. Let Christ direct your life. Be a woman of God. Do not give a boyfriend husband benefits. WAIT! until marriage. Its gonna be worth it. God will prove Himself to you as long as you let Him. There is no relationship that is more important than a relationship with God.
Matthew 6:33
"Seek the kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously and He will give you everything you need"
Manessa.
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